the best movies never made
- Thread starter Scarecrow
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Petike
Kicked
Thought I'd restart this excellent old thread.
Napoleon Dynamite
An early 20th century French patriotic propaganda movie in the guise of an alternate history techno-thriller. Its premise is (according to the advertising of the era) : "Coming soon to a cinema near you ! What if Napoleon's brilliant scientists invented dynamite already a hundred years ago and what if the glorious French navy used it to give those pesky Brits a good old Gallic licking ? Find out... in Napoleon Dynamite !" The film was highly popular in its time, but is looked down upon by today's audiences, conjuring up connotations of the unfortunate pre-Great War chauvinism typical in the countries of both the Continental Alliance and Sixth Coalition*. Historical rumour has it that the movie was a favourite of Russian general Morchenko, who rewatched it often and called it "a propaganda masterpiece, perfectly disguised as a patriotism-bolstering thrill ride - a film from which all propaganda makers should learn".
OOC: This was made in Zach's Napoleonic TL.
* - these connotations being not too dissimilar to the case of OTL's Birth of a Nation
Napoleon Dynamite
An early 20th century French patriotic propaganda movie in the guise of an alternate history techno-thriller. Its premise is (according to the advertising of the era) : "Coming soon to a cinema near you ! What if Napoleon's brilliant scientists invented dynamite already a hundred years ago and what if the glorious French navy used it to give those pesky Brits a good old Gallic licking ? Find out... in Napoleon Dynamite !" The film was highly popular in its time, but is looked down upon by today's audiences, conjuring up connotations of the unfortunate pre-Great War chauvinism typical in the countries of both the Continental Alliance and Sixth Coalition*. Historical rumour has it that the movie was a favourite of Russian general Morchenko, who rewatched it often and called it "a propaganda masterpiece, perfectly disguised as a patriotism-bolstering thrill ride - a film from which all propaganda makers should learn".
OOC: This was made in Zach's Napoleonic TL.
* - these connotations being not too dissimilar to the case of OTL's Birth of a Nation
Oh my God, I love this...it will definitely make an appearance in the elusive chapter(s) on culture, the arts, etc.
Unfortunately, nitrared explosives are really unstable unless youve got really pure acids. Thats why guncotton to so long to replace gunpowder. Nitrogycerine is really nasty even with pure acids. I dont think a napoleonic era batch would have survived long enough to be mixed with diatomaceous earths, even if someone had wanted to try it.
Otis R. Needleman
Banned
Earth Abides - from the book by George B. Stewart. Ish Williams, a young graduate student in geology is bitten by a snake while on a field trip. The snake's venom saves him from the plague that kills about 99% of the rest of the human race while he is in camp, resting and recuperating. The student then goes looking for other survivors and eventually finds some. The rest of the story focuses on the development of Ish's clan.
Warday - from the book by Whitney Strieber and James Kunetka. Two journalists from Dallas take a trip through the United States, five years after a limited US-USSR nuclear war.
Alas, Babylon - from the book by Pat Frank. Impact of a US-USSR nuclear exchange on the late 1950's town of Fort Repose, Florida.
Warday - from the book by Whitney Strieber and James Kunetka. Two journalists from Dallas take a trip through the United States, five years after a limited US-USSR nuclear war.
Alas, Babylon - from the book by Pat Frank. Impact of a US-USSR nuclear exchange on the late 1950's town of Fort Repose, Florida.
Petike
Kicked
How about this ?
Guns of the South - an alternate history sci-fi thriller about a band of fanatical Swedish Zavtraists (led by the great-grandson of Sven Lund), who travel back in time to the early 19th century and supply Southern Lusitania with hi-tech modern weaponry.
or
Guns of the South - gripping historical docudrama series about the role of the armed forces of the CSA in the (often-overlooked) South American theatre of the Second Great War.
Tell it to the guys who made that movie.
It's deliberately as nonsensical as Stirling's idea about the Draka developing modern breach-loading rifles already in the 18th century. It would be interesting to see these adapted, but I'm not sure whether they wouldn't get updated too much...
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The Best Film Series Never Made
In 1930, an unknown film enthusiast wandered into Hollywood. He amassed studios, sets, cameras, film, theaters, all forms of film equipment, and the necessary crews to work them. The Hays Code was just finding it's way into productions. But the Producer found it appalling his goal was to make films people would remember. Later critics would find that each film centralized a particular Deadly Sin. And broke every rule of the industry in doing so. As the Producer had predicted America loved sin. The films despite banns and protests from many were flocked by millions of praising viewers. The films encompassed brilliant acting and directing as well as stunning visual effects of realism. They created many withstanding trends, stereotypes, genres, and innovations.
1932: Before Thou Falls
*Alright that's what I got so far. I would appreciate if anyone had any suggestions regarding cast, crew, or any other criticisms. If it is receipted well I will do the next six.
In 1930, an unknown film enthusiast wandered into Hollywood. He amassed studios, sets, cameras, film, theaters, all forms of film equipment, and the necessary crews to work them. The Hays Code was just finding it's way into productions. But the Producer found it appalling his goal was to make films people would remember. Later critics would find that each film centralized a particular Deadly Sin. And broke every rule of the industry in doing so. As the Producer had predicted America loved sin. The films despite banns and protests from many were flocked by millions of praising viewers. The films encompassed brilliant acting and directing as well as stunning visual effects of realism. They created many withstanding trends, stereotypes, genres, and innovations.
1932: Before Thou Falls
The first of the series centralized the sin, Pride. The central character a wealthy and powerful tycoon who is concerned he may be targeted for death. He sends an invitation to a once brilliant now struggling alcoholic private investigator to help him. Before the investigator can even reply the tycoon is found dead alone in his penthouse throne. The police find no evident foul play and even ridicule the investigator for believing so. Eventually the detectives see no worry in letting the investigator chase his tail or tale. Over the course of the film the tycoon's sanity is put into question through flashbacks. These scenes are interspersed between the investigation by our detective. Which includes many twists and turns through misinformation. The film climaxes with a suspenseful chase in the high-rise penthouse to the roof. Where it is revealed that in fact the tycoon simply perished and this was a last ruse for attention by the dying tycoon. Who truly believed the detective could solve the unsolvable quest to who he believed was out to get him. The film set the precedent of what would become the suspense thriller genre. It used the traditional chiaroscuro lighting and expressionist photography to create bleak dark and desperate mise en scene. Many experimental tracking and focus-shift shots were used to add to the suspense and uneasiness.
*Alright that's what I got so far. I would appreciate if anyone had any suggestions regarding cast, crew, or any other criticisms. If it is receipted well I will do the next six.
Road of Life: An epic about the road of the same name in the USSR during WW2. Made in 1987, it has become a hallmark of Soviet cinema, blending elements of horror movies, war movies, and ultra-realism to create a masterpiece. It even found a massive audience in the United States, bringing many people to tears upon viewing it.
(Who could star in this?)
(Who could star in this?)
Drag Me to Hell A docu-thriller about the fifteen-year attempt by US and CS police forces to capture notorious serial killer Sylvia Ganush. The film, named after a quote attributed to an unkown CSBI detective ("This case will drag me to hell, I need a large whisky") begins with Ganush's first murder in 1969 in Pasadena, and ends with her capture in rural Tennessee, and her subsequent trial and execution in Nashville. A recurring theme is the various shots of wanted posters, with the reward money steadily increasing.
The Invention of Hugo Cabret
France 2012, avec Gerard Jugnot, Gerard Depardieu
The slightly fictionalized account of the famous Luxembourgian inventor, writer, impostor and military innovator Hugo Gernsbacher. We follow him on his Immigration to Paris in 1905 where he Took on the less germanic surname Cabret. During WW1, he forged a lifelong friendship with later politician Andre Maginot. Pioneering in the Radio Business in the 1920s, He Supported the Development of Radar and convinced Maginot to add "a defensive line in the Air" to his Design.
In 1940, the French cutting Edge installations behind the Maginot line gave them a decisive advantage over the Luftwaffe and were instrumental in the crushing defeat of the Third Reich After its ill Advised "Fall gelb" Offensive.
Cabret spent the post-war Years establishing the "Institut Jules Verne", an influential think-Tank where scientists, free thinkers and Artists collaborated to Devise Futuristic concepts which should bolster French hegemony over Europe.
Cabret died in 1967, 5 Years before the First frenchman Walked on the Moon.
France 2012, avec Gerard Jugnot, Gerard Depardieu
The slightly fictionalized account of the famous Luxembourgian inventor, writer, impostor and military innovator Hugo Gernsbacher. We follow him on his Immigration to Paris in 1905 where he Took on the less germanic surname Cabret. During WW1, he forged a lifelong friendship with later politician Andre Maginot. Pioneering in the Radio Business in the 1920s, He Supported the Development of Radar and convinced Maginot to add "a defensive line in the Air" to his Design.
In 1940, the French cutting Edge installations behind the Maginot line gave them a decisive advantage over the Luftwaffe and were instrumental in the crushing defeat of the Third Reich After its ill Advised "Fall gelb" Offensive.
Cabret spent the post-war Years establishing the "Institut Jules Verne", an influential think-Tank where scientists, free thinkers and Artists collaborated to Devise Futuristic concepts which should bolster French hegemony over Europe.
Cabret died in 1967, 5 Years before the First frenchman Walked on the Moon.
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I am working on a lengthy edit for this but I'm thinking Tod Browning as co-director. Maybe Lionel Barrymore as the tycoon whom I'm thinking of naming something similar to Vanderbilt but emphasize the Vain in the name. Maybe Clark Gable as the Investigator whom I want to name after Glory. Please someone criticize this lol.
Petike
Kicked
OK, this one is absolutely hilarious.
Hugo Gernsback as the dieselpunk saviour of Europe ? Awesome.
In remembrance (1952)
Starring Dirk Bogarde, Alan Young, Errol Flynn and George MacDonald Fraser as Lt. "Darkie" McNeil.
Sometimes dismissed as a propaganda piece for commonwealth unity, featuring actors and characters from every commonwealth dominion at the time,
this movie portrays the retaking of the Andaman Islands 10 years prior to the release of the film. The film is also notable for its frank portrayal of combat stress and its often crude and bleak humour. This film is noted for being the only screen performance from George MacDonald Fraser, who during an interview stated, without irony
that the power of his performance of a battle fatigued Highland officer was due entirely to his own stage fright.
To whom we owe so much (1957)
Starring Noel Coward, Richard Attenborough and Bernard Lee, introducing Sean Connery as Leading Sickberth Attendent McNeil.
This film recounts the wartime service of the fictional aircraft carrier HMS Righteous (loosely based on that of the Ark Royal). The story is told in much the same style as "In which we serve" starting with her sinking at the battle of Parson's Point in 1942 and the pilots and survivors reminiscing about their experiences and service. Noel Coward's character's name is never spoken during the movie, nor does he have is own story to tell about his time onboard the Righteous. However, during the credits it is revealed that the part he played was Rear Admiral E.V. Kinross, VC, RN.
These films are often credited as being the first examples of the "Anniversary Epics" which form a cornerstone of modern British cinema.
Both these films were remade as complimentary miniseries in 1992 and were George MacDonald Fraser's last stint as director. In the former it is revealed that the two McNeils are in fact brothers, while the latter states that the Righteous was a sister ship of HMS Furious, and features Sean Connery as Admiral Kinross.
The Man who Walked Away (1990)
Starring Patrick Stewart as Vice Admiral Sir James Somerville, Gerard Depardieu as Rear Admiral Marcel-Bruno Gensoul, Mel Smith as Winston Churchill,
Jean Reno as Charles de Gaulle and Arthur Bostrom as Captain Cedric "Hookey" Holland.
Seen as a start of the "Wartime Thriller" genre of cinema, this film dramatises the stand off at Mers-el-Kebir and the controversy surrounding the
ultimatum and Operation Catapult. While the film takes many liberties with history in the name of dramatic tension,
one of the most complained about mistakes is the fact that Captain Holland sports a moustache throughout.
One apocryphal story surrounding the film is that it led directly to Commonwealth Navies granting the option
for officers (not ratings) to grow moustaches. What is certainly true is that from 1991 onward moustaches and their owners have been nicknamed
"Hookeys" in the royal navy and the percentage of ratings with full set beards is at all time high.
(Note, these films are from my Magnificent Octopus The Mers el Kebir Resolution)
Starring Dirk Bogarde, Alan Young, Errol Flynn and George MacDonald Fraser as Lt. "Darkie" McNeil.
Sometimes dismissed as a propaganda piece for commonwealth unity, featuring actors and characters from every commonwealth dominion at the time,
this movie portrays the retaking of the Andaman Islands 10 years prior to the release of the film. The film is also notable for its frank portrayal of combat stress and its often crude and bleak humour. This film is noted for being the only screen performance from George MacDonald Fraser, who during an interview stated, without irony
that the power of his performance of a battle fatigued Highland officer was due entirely to his own stage fright.
To whom we owe so much (1957)
Starring Noel Coward, Richard Attenborough and Bernard Lee, introducing Sean Connery as Leading Sickberth Attendent McNeil.
This film recounts the wartime service of the fictional aircraft carrier HMS Righteous (loosely based on that of the Ark Royal). The story is told in much the same style as "In which we serve" starting with her sinking at the battle of Parson's Point in 1942 and the pilots and survivors reminiscing about their experiences and service. Noel Coward's character's name is never spoken during the movie, nor does he have is own story to tell about his time onboard the Righteous. However, during the credits it is revealed that the part he played was Rear Admiral E.V. Kinross, VC, RN.
These films are often credited as being the first examples of the "Anniversary Epics" which form a cornerstone of modern British cinema.
Both these films were remade as complimentary miniseries in 1992 and were George MacDonald Fraser's last stint as director. In the former it is revealed that the two McNeils are in fact brothers, while the latter states that the Righteous was a sister ship of HMS Furious, and features Sean Connery as Admiral Kinross.
The Man who Walked Away (1990)
Starring Patrick Stewart as Vice Admiral Sir James Somerville, Gerard Depardieu as Rear Admiral Marcel-Bruno Gensoul, Mel Smith as Winston Churchill,
Jean Reno as Charles de Gaulle and Arthur Bostrom as Captain Cedric "Hookey" Holland.
Seen as a start of the "Wartime Thriller" genre of cinema, this film dramatises the stand off at Mers-el-Kebir and the controversy surrounding the
ultimatum and Operation Catapult. While the film takes many liberties with history in the name of dramatic tension,
one of the most complained about mistakes is the fact that Captain Holland sports a moustache throughout.
One apocryphal story surrounding the film is that it led directly to Commonwealth Navies granting the option
for officers (not ratings) to grow moustaches. What is certainly true is that from 1991 onward moustaches and their owners have been nicknamed
"Hookeys" in the royal navy and the percentage of ratings with full set beards is at all time high.
(Note, these films are from my Magnificent Octopus The Mers el Kebir Resolution)
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I have a non-pun one, but still probably thoroughly implausible:
Star Trek VII: The Ashes of Eden (1994)
Made after Star Trek: The Next Generation had been ignobly cancelled halfway through its second season, meaning that when they made Star Trek VI they were effectively killing the cash cow -- so Paramount decided "screw the graceful send-off" and pushed them to make another one. William Shatner only agreed to return on the conditions that he could direct the film and pitch his own idea for the story. As it happened his idea actually showed a lot of promise, and expanded out into a full screenplay by writing duo Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens (in their first feature-film script: the duo had previously written novels and teleplays together) the end product was superb -- surprisingly it also felt the most like an "ensemble" piece of all the films, with each main character having an important role in the story (likely due to Shatner's recent confrontation with Nichols, Koenig and Takei on his arrogant behaviour still weighing heavily on his mind). Viewers tend to be divided with regard to whether this film or Star Trek VI was the better send-off, but the general consensus is that The Ashes of Eden was superior in its treatment of the characters and the way it allowed the Enterprise-A to go out in a blaze of glory. It was also likely responsible for the greenlighting of the new spin-off series Star Trek: Starship Excelsior, which premiered the following year.
Star Trek VII: The Ashes of Eden (1994)
Made after Star Trek: The Next Generation had been ignobly cancelled halfway through its second season, meaning that when they made Star Trek VI they were effectively killing the cash cow -- so Paramount decided "screw the graceful send-off" and pushed them to make another one. William Shatner only agreed to return on the conditions that he could direct the film and pitch his own idea for the story. As it happened his idea actually showed a lot of promise, and expanded out into a full screenplay by writing duo Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens (in their first feature-film script: the duo had previously written novels and teleplays together) the end product was superb -- surprisingly it also felt the most like an "ensemble" piece of all the films, with each main character having an important role in the story (likely due to Shatner's recent confrontation with Nichols, Koenig and Takei on his arrogant behaviour still weighing heavily on his mind). Viewers tend to be divided with regard to whether this film or Star Trek VI was the better send-off, but the general consensus is that The Ashes of Eden was superior in its treatment of the characters and the way it allowed the Enterprise-A to go out in a blaze of glory. It was also likely responsible for the greenlighting of the new spin-off series Star Trek: Starship Excelsior, which premiered the following year.